The Number One Leadership Quality According To A Top Coach

This leadership skill is honed through continuous learning and a commitment to personal growth.

As an executive coach with over 30 years of experience, I’m often asked what leadership traits matter most for success and effectiveness. My clients are reaching for something, wanting to become more skilled. 

When I think back to the leaders I’ve worked with and what makes someone stand out to me, I realize, first of all, that I’ve had the privilege of working with some of the brightest and best in their industries, true leaders. And even in the midst of all this greatness, there are some who shine the brightest. 

I've always admired leaders who remain calm under fire. I think of those who keep their wits and wisdom about them when their board or team or the media are taking considerable shots at them. They keep perspective, seeing the larger picture and forces at play. They don’t lose their footing.

Above all, they don't take things personally. Somehow, these amazing leaders know that it's not personal. A business failure is not a personal failure. It doesn't point to some defect of character; it points to something larger and maybe even something not yet seen. They are curious and open, listening and discerning what right action to take next. They aren’t paralyzed by self-doubt or nagging fear. 

Steady Leadership Takes Work

As I reflect on the qualities that truly set these exceptional leaders apart, it becomes clear that their ability to remain steady in the face of chaos isn’t just a result of innate disposition. It’s a skill honed through continuous learning and a commitment to personal growth. They understand that leadership is not about being infallible or unmoved by criticism; rather, it's about embracing vulnerability and recognizing that everything presents an opportunity for growth.

These leaders keep opening their minds, listening and learning. They aren’t arrogant enough to think that they know everything or have all of the answers — and they recognize that they don’t need to. They lean in to their team, trusting the skill and strength of each member. They cultivate relationships of trust and respect. 

For example, one CEO I had the privilege of coaching demonstrated his commitment to inclusivity by inviting all levels of employees to offer their feedback about what they were seeing and experiencing. He understood that true innovation and problem-solving require input from those on the front lines, and he made it a point to actively invite their insights and ideas. 

By doing so, he both gained valuable perspectives and instilled a sense of ownership and engagement throughout the organization, building a culture of collaboration and continuous improvement. He listened to these team members as intently as if they were each the chairman of the board. Their thoughts and ideas would stay on his mind for weeks as he pondered new solutions and ideas.

I've worked over the years to access this kind of steadfastness myself, but I admit I’ve never fully embodied it. My mood dissuades me, my anger overtakes me and the training begins again. But I've been blessed to have coached and partnered with several steady CEOs in my career who serve as role models for that spirit of calm and grace under pressure. I always questioned who was really being coached. I hoped it was reciprocal.

So many of the remarkable leaders I've had the opportunity to work with have inspired me. Their commitment to growth, their ability to remain grounded in the face of adversity and their dedication to building inclusive, trusting relationships serve as powerful reminders of the qualities that define remarkable leadership. And while I continue to strive towards embodying these traits myself, I'm grateful for the privilege of learning from and alongside these exceptional people.

In the end, perhaps the true essence of coaching lies in the reciprocal exchange of knowledge, growth and inspiration between coach and client, each learning and evolving together on the journey towards becoming better leaders and human beings.

Previously published on Forbes